So I messed up again and I practically have no one.Last night was not bad at all.I had fun being somewhere I have never been too and with people I did not know.IF I had to go through it again I would have brought body spray or breath mints.I am so desperate to prove to my parents that I can do it alone in this world.I can,but it's the money thats a problem.And well my party ways,I don't even consider myself a avid party goer or a drunk.I am so misunderstood at home that I don't even want to be here right now.Wish I could runaway,but sadly I have no car and no money to go anywhere.
My mother had basically not talking care of me anymore and my father well fuck him.I guess I am taking care of myself now.Things are going to be rocky at the beginning of 2010,but I think I can make it.Just going to work for myself and the independence I crave.

Because your young.......

I am in love with this song right now!

Wipe the tears from my face

Wonder if things would be like this if you were around to tell me that everything would be okay.Then you would cheer me up and make me laugh.Tell me you miss me and you love me.And I'd feel like your the only thing that can make me feels like there is hope.

happy thanksgiving...........

Today I a very devastating day for me.I think my stupid father threw away my Hermes Typewriter.It was so pretty and in mint condition.I am bummed because I wanted to make something for a friend with it.Above is a picture that looks exactly like that.It is either in the garage,but I doubt it cause today I was down there trying to look for it.However I did not find it.Goodbye my Hermey......
On to other news,my head hurts and I need a smoke.................
My mother is possibly going to drink her angry away.My family,well more like 3/4 is eating Thanksgiving Dinner right now.I am in my room typing this blog cause I no longer feel like I am a part from that family.I am happy this way though cause no one can criticize what I eat or how I don't act my age.
I am just bummed that I could not find my typewriter and that asshole could have threw it away.He makes me so angry.He like to do little things to piss people off.
Grrrrr....I want to hate my life ,but I got good things going for me as well,so I don't hate it completely.

schmoo pooo

Well,for starters I am in a kinda ehhh.. mood.It is already Tuesday and I feel like this week if going to be filled with disasters.I do hope this Thanksgiving turns out okay.I am probably going to stuff myself with FOOD!Who isn't?
Yeah well the one thing that I am thankful for is that I am still alive.I am not dead,but survived I guess another year.
I don't get why men scream at women.It truly bunches my nerves.
School was pretty good and next week I make a mock up.I am excited!
Shit,it's almost the end of the year.Hopefully things will get better.
So yeah I hear Irena won Project Runway...Ewww.

I aint no WooHaa.I am a LADY!

Sketch By:BenHeine
I got asked by some stupid werido if I would be interested in a porn through myspace.I was like...WTF!.Checked his profile and he was a 23 year old perv trying to make adult films. He was saying how you can start by making 15k to 23k just starting off.He had scandalous women on his top too.I denied this person because I am not interested in the adult film industry!!!
I wanna be something in life using my brains and my creativity.NOT my assets!I would rather sell my clothing line near dumpsters if I have to than sell myself to these creeps. I am far to good than that!!!!

Grrrr....

Spent about an hour and a half registering for my classes for winter quarter on the computer!!!!this sucks because my plan was create stock up to start my wee bitty etsy shop.As of right now my sister is selling my clips and cute pouches to her friends at her school.
I have a feeling that I will be full time stress mode next quarter.
Only two classes related to my major the rest fundamental classes.I was really really looking for intermediate pattern making.I really got into fundamentals of pattern making this quarter it was challenging,but fun cause I get to make my own patterns!I recently brought to new Patternmaking Book By Helen Armstrong 5th addition.I found out that I won't be available intermediate until summer.So that book is going to be sitting there for a couple of months.On Second thought,I think I might put it into good use!

A bit about me..

I was the chubby quiet timid girl playing in the sand box when I was a youngin'.I grew up still being that in some way.I am am still learning how to accept my body and each day it is a struggle.Each day I am learning bit by bit to accept it.I can't wish to be tall or look thin because I know that it will never happen. Society has basically shoved it through magazines that tall and thin define beauty.What is beauty?
When we see a clouds up in the sky and call it beautiful.Or the sun set on top of the ocean streaming a reflection it we can it beautiful.If you noticed the clouds are all different shapes.The sun appears to be huge up close ,but far away it is tiny.How about flowers?All different kinds,sizes and shapes.We still consider it beautiful.I believe that is true beauty,because that is what makes them beautiful.Even society still gets to me on those days I lose all hope,I still look at it that way and it makes me accept who I am.
Though I am still quiet to the point where I have heard it scares people and makes me seem angry.I am not angry I am just a quiet person that if you talk to me I'll talk to you.I do like meeting people it just takes me a while to get comfortable.Yet,I am still learning to change that habit by opening myself up more to people.
Well I don't play in the sand box thats for sure.I have amazing friends I am going to The Art Institute to get my BFA to become a costume designer of fashion designer.It sounds cliche ,but it has been something that I have been doing since I was 13.I think I would have been miserable if I went to nursing school because I had a feeling it was not for me. I took a risk and went with my gut instinct. All I really want out of life is to have a job I love and be happy with what I am doing.
I work at McDonald's and it is not glamorous at all.But it is a job that pays.I have learned how people are and which I had a video camera to show them how grumpy they are over food.
I desperately want to move out.I miss my green hair.I want tattoos.I wanna fully be able to support myself.I want to travel the world and by golly I will do all these things!

riot grrls

So lately I have been digging this riot grrl thing.I was into it once with putting the feminist sign on my myspace page and putting it on shirts when I was a wee bit sophmore.Then I just stopped all of a sudden.I dunno know why though,but it is coming back to me again.For the record,I am not anti-men,lesbian or dyke. I just believe in equality for all.Because just as men we women can be just as successful as they are.

this big cheese

Things

Fill this out and reblog. :)

astrild:prettypinkshoes:leavesofstone:xkatana:liveelaughlovee:laurenec:

FIVE things you wish you could say to FIVE different people right now:

* My stomach is about to burst.
* Don't leave.
* I miss you.
* Yeah RIGHT!!!!
* SCrew your Mold.

TEN things about yourself:

* I don't sleep.
* I have 3 cats.
* I want to move out.
* I want to organize my life.
* I work ,but my money does not last that long in my hands.
* I dream a lot of the future.
* I am scared of being rejected.
* I want to be in control of my body.
* I like to help people.
* I like to do things for fun even if it kills my liver.

SEVEN ways to win your heart:

* Tell me you care.
* Be romantic.
* Be mature.
* Don't be afraid to talk to me.
* Tell me secrets about yourself.
* Cuddle
* Tell me you love me.

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:

* Ehh..I ate too much today.
* What am I going to wear today?
* Does this make me look fat?
* The asshole who stole mi corazon...
* Gah...bookwork
* I get paid this week!
* I don't wanna move to that crumpy apartment.

FOUR things you do before you fall asleep:

* Cover myself in my troll blanket and my knitted blue one
* Fluff my pillows
* Put my alarm
* Close my eyes and dream a little dream

FOUR things you see right now:

* T.V
* Sewing Machine
* Cell phone
* Piles and piles of fabric

THREE songs that you listen to often:

* Los Hitters-Hombre Respetable
* t-REx- I like to boogie
* Bikini Kill-Rebel Girl

TWO things you want to do before you die:

* Grow old with my mate.
* Go dancing.

ONE confession:

* I am a procrastinator.

Hand made PLedge

Yup I took the Handmade Pledge!

Sailor Pattern

Found this when I was browsing Google for this other pattern that I could not find,but somehow I own(It is sadly lost somewhere in my room=/.I thought of just putting it up on my blog because I think it's a very cute outfit to make someday.I don't know where to get this pattern,but I think I can figure out by just eyeballing it.If I do make it someday I wanna wear it on some random day you know? Just wake up on morning and say I am going to be sailor girl today!

To do List......

I have been busy with stuff lately.It has totally lured me away from my sewing machine. So I have been wanting to making my own shoes.Weird huh? Yeah have thought of some ways to make them comfy yet durable.Right now I dunno when I am going to
beginning this project,but hopefully soon!With the holidays around the corner I also wanted to make Christmas cards and gifts for my friends.It is pretty hard when you have to juggle school and work,on top of that wish that I had time to craft more. I eventually make time cause I am starting to miss it.
So here is a list for me to follow and hopefully I do get it done before the holidays or at least before next year cause I have tons of scraps of fabric that I need to put to use.They have been in grocery bags since forever.I am a pack rat that saves everything and puts it into use later on.I want to start clean with no more clutter of scraps.That will give me an excuse to buy more fabric too!=]
(In no particular order)
1.Booties or ballet flat shoes
2.Cardigan sweater
3.Christmas Gifts and cards
4.Dress
5.Beret
6. more to come...............

Vintage Sewing Pictures

There is something I like about old vintage women sewing that I like.They inspire me to sew until I am old!

I say heyyyyy.....WHATS GOIN ON!?????

Sorry...It's not you....It's me..BS!

It's funny cause the statement above only sounds good when a girl says it to a guy.BUT!When a guy says it it is just LAME!Yeah...LAME!
You know why???
Cause if it is you with the problem why do you have a bunch of girls you hang around and talk to.OR for that matter 50 or more phone numbers of girls.
Ain't I a girl...I have a phone number.I could hang too.
Golly guys aren't how they use to be they have turned into girls.
Bull.....the next time I hear that I am going to point a gun at that fool.

What nice Wednesday..

okay so........I have not done my homework and it is way past me bedtime(WHAT!bedtime I don't even sleep I always pull all nighters on Thursdays to draw cubes for my perspective drawing class.)Shit...today was weird and it went by so quickly.I basically spent half of my day working. The rest of the night I watch this movie my friend suggested I should watch cause it was so good.And it really was!It wasn't your typical happily ever ending but it was good!The movie is Ghost World.
Yeah but before this movie I was ranting about this one person that won't leave me alone.I tried to be nice about it cause thats what I am.I hate being mean even though sometimes my potty phrases slip out sometimes.I guess you can say I can be mean and I don't even notice it.But I am a nice person sometimes too nice that people take advantage.
So I am excited cause one of my friends is having a fashion show in her class.I am going to be occupied with that for a while,which will be a blast.Funny cause I am suppose to come up with 15 different types of designs each with a different fabric for my Into to Fashion class.I'll get it done this weekend.(I hope!cause I am such a procrastinator.)
Project Runway is on tomorrow!Last episode i think.I hope Althea or Carol Hanna win.I honestly can't stand Irina,she has this two face "I am too good for these designers and PR should just end the show cause I should win" attitude.
Grr.....someone should just throw a tomato at her face.HEr designs seem like they should at like forever 21.Luxury my ass!
See there,you just experience me being mean.

Coco Chanel

I saw this movie recently and was so inspired by Coco Chanel.How she started from nothing to becoming one great designer.Gosh would I kill for one of her straw hats just so lovely.For those of you who have not seen the movie,it's a must see!!Here is the link to watch it just click mature content.http://www.wisevid.com/view_video.php?viewkey=2901a412b2d5d24daff6#

The Rougnecks.

It's funny I should be doing homework for my history of fashion homework ,but I am here listening to this amazing band.This song makes me wanna sing along and dance.Tom Ress, the lead singer is such a cutie pie.

Okay, so many things have happen.Yikes I need to get away and smoke a cigarette.Last night I stayed up till three making a hat out of white felt,wire,and black flower appliques with little sequins in the middle.I came on to something that night and feel like heading to LA for materials.
I was surprise how long it took me to make ,which was 30minutes..IF only I had a camera to post it up,but when I do I will put it up!

My friend found this video for me a while back.When I saw it I fell in love with the hats made by 1960's Christian Dior millinery summer line.

Bikini Kill

I love bikini kill they just want to make me burn my bra.