my brain is tired and weak and my body feels like it is unbalanced.
within these weeks of my so called vacation I am seeking to clean up my life!
My room is a pigs pen....
biggie pad homework assignments everywhere...
bags of fabric that i just brought....
my textbooks everywhere..
clothes and bags...
UGhhhh.....welcome to the room of a college student....
yeah.......gonna works my ass of too.............................
It is tiring dealing with people at work.I have learned to be very very patient.Yup.....
I shall get use to it since I am gonna be working my whole life right?
I am kinda getting use to my life at the moment just work and college.There are times I wanna shoot myself,but i rather have it this way more than anything else.
It is worth it though i know it is and thats what keeps me going!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
chubawaba
finally I am on my big break since I started school in like the summer...
non-stop work,school and going out
It feels as If next year has to be the year where I have to get my shit together.It just does and means I kinda have to keep it on a limit.
Dang I am almost gonna be 19 and I feel obligated to be an adult with these responsibilities and what not.I wanna be a kido!
Gag........................
I can't screw up with the only person I have backing me up.I can't do that anymore because shes done so much.
Then another thing I did not expect to ever see a particular person again.I don't mind ,but i just rather not just because.I dunno the reason....really I don't.
My buddy is leaving........off to achieve her goals which is the best thing to do for her.I give her props for taking such a big leap.
I wish I could leave the OC.This barrio is lame.Rather live in a rural place where everything lovely and peaceful.
Have two place in mind of where I wanna go after grad,but it all depends what doors open for me.
as of now I am just trying to get this all out of my system because I know that if I keep on this side of the tracks I am gonna loose everything.I don;t want thats I came this far to do that and it is not worht it.
I am still down for a good time though once in while perhaps.
non-stop work,school and going out
It feels as If next year has to be the year where I have to get my shit together.It just does and means I kinda have to keep it on a limit.
Dang I am almost gonna be 19 and I feel obligated to be an adult with these responsibilities and what not.I wanna be a kido!
Gag........................
I can't screw up with the only person I have backing me up.I can't do that anymore because shes done so much.
Then another thing I did not expect to ever see a particular person again.I don't mind ,but i just rather not just because.I dunno the reason....really I don't.
My buddy is leaving........off to achieve her goals which is the best thing to do for her.I give her props for taking such a big leap.
I wish I could leave the OC.This barrio is lame.Rather live in a rural place where everything lovely and peaceful.
Have two place in mind of where I wanna go after grad,but it all depends what doors open for me.
as of now I am just trying to get this all out of my system because I know that if I keep on this side of the tracks I am gonna loose everything.I don;t want thats I came this far to do that and it is not worht it.
I am still down for a good time though once in while perhaps.
sick up the spazz
well yes I am sick again for like the fiftieth bazillion time.I think all this quarter in school,sleepless night and procrastination have pretty much taken it's toll on me on finals week!$#!$@#% bad really bad!
I am trying to sneeze but somehow my brain is teasing me.
I felt so embarrassed I threw up at work.....no one saw but only this one guy.IT was kinda funny since he was like "orale" hahah when i was puking in one of the trash cans.
I hate being sick.It's not a pretty sight when I am either.
LOL my eyes sink,my under eyes get puffy,my face is pale and I feel so out of it.
Yeah I hope this winter break will clear my head and what not.
I need to get my head straight.
I am going to miss my closest friend,Victoria HERnandez.
Hopefully I'll go visit her in Missurri during spring break.I am gonna miss the coffee dates,getting my hair did by her,going to show(our wreckin memories),shmokin thee pankake hahahaha,long drives to pick up friends and just chilling at amy's pad.
I don't know how next year is going to be like,but hope all goes well.
dang i am going to turn 19 in two months!
Ay I am getting old yet I do not feel that age.
I am trying to sneeze but somehow my brain is teasing me.
I felt so embarrassed I threw up at work.....no one saw but only this one guy.IT was kinda funny since he was like "orale" hahah when i was puking in one of the trash cans.
I hate being sick.It's not a pretty sight when I am either.
LOL my eyes sink,my under eyes get puffy,my face is pale and I feel so out of it.
Yeah I hope this winter break will clear my head and what not.
I need to get my head straight.
I am going to miss my closest friend,Victoria HERnandez.
Hopefully I'll go visit her in Missurri during spring break.I am gonna miss the coffee dates,getting my hair did by her,going to show(our wreckin memories),shmokin thee pankake hahahaha,long drives to pick up friends and just chilling at amy's pad.
I don't know how next year is going to be like,but hope all goes well.
dang i am going to turn 19 in two months!
Ay I am getting old yet I do not feel that age.
gibergabers
I think I have a problem..........haha with shopping
I think I deserve it in some way I basically make a fool of myself wearing a ridiculous uniform for work,saying yes to every command even if I dread it,it's my job and dealing with assholes once in a while.
YEah I have been naughty spending money on things...guilty as charged lol
well one thing,but it will be an exciting project to start in the spring 0f 09(crossing fingers!)
I can't say NO to going out with my buddies,my familia and other shenanigans.
As far as I know I have to stay away from ebay!
Money comes and goes thats for sure.
It will probably be an issue my whole life but hopefully I can make it next year.
It's gonna be a fucking trip.......
but worth the experience of finally being on my own.
I think I deserve it in some way I basically make a fool of myself wearing a ridiculous uniform for work,saying yes to every command even if I dread it,it's my job and dealing with assholes once in a while.
YEah I have been naughty spending money on things...guilty as charged lol
well one thing,but it will be an exciting project to start in the spring 0f 09(crossing fingers!)
I can't say NO to going out with my buddies,my familia and other shenanigans.
As far as I know I have to stay away from ebay!
Money comes and goes thats for sure.
It will probably be an issue my whole life but hopefully I can make it next year.
It's gonna be a fucking trip.......
but worth the experience of finally being on my own.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
So I messed up again and I practically have no one.Last night was not bad at all.I had fun being somewhere I have never been too and with people I did not know.IF I had to go through it again I would have brought body spray or breath mints.I am so desperate to prove to my parents that I can do it alone in this world.I can,but it's the money thats a problem.And well my party ways,I don't even consider myself a avid party goer or a drunk.I am so misunderstood at home that I don't even want to be here right now.Wish I could runaway,but sadly I have no car and no money to go anywhere.
My mother had basically not talking care of me anymore and my father well fuck him.I guess I am taking care of myself now.Things are going to be rocky at the beginning of 2010,but I think I can make it.Just going to work for myself and the independence I crave.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wipe the tears from my face
Wonder if things would be like this if you were around to tell me that everything would be okay.Then you would cheer me up and make me laugh.Tell me you miss me and you love me.And I'd feel like your the only thing that can make me feels like there is hope.
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